Let me take you on a simple journey of chemistry and biology that shows how two brain chemicals determines whether we are having good stress or bad stress and if we are killing ourselves or giving ourselves a chance to live longer happily.
Cortisol is a chemical produced by the brain when the brain senses an emergency or threat to our life. This is how our ancestors were programed to react to the issues of life and death that they tend to face when hunting in the wild. The production of cortisol in the body is required to stimulate the body for extreme physical reaction - typically running or fighting back to avoid not being killed. During these bodily exercise these chemicals are used up in the body and the body can return to a state of normalcy within a short period.
Interestingly, this same chemical is released during a state of frustration, whether at work or at home, threats to our job, negative comments by superiors, spouses, peers or juniors, verbal attacks and interestingly also boredom, impatience, tiredness, sadness, anger, and intense anxiety. These states of mind or causes of bad stress that generates cortisol in our body do not require physical or strenuous bodily responses which then tend to make the chemical linger in our body for longer than necessary. In fact in many cases, as these bad stressors tend to linger, like threat to jobs, verbal attacks, boredom and tiredness this chemical stays almost permanently in the body.
But what does high level and persistent cortisol do to our body when it is not used up?
Below are a few examples:
· Impaired cognitive performance
· Suppressed thyroid function
· Blood sugar imbalances such as hyperglycemia
· Decreased bone density
· Decrease in muscle tissue
· Higher blood pressure
· Lowered immunity and inflammatory responses in the body, slowed wound healing, and other health consequences
· Increased abdominal fat, which is associated with a greater amount of health problems than fat deposited in other areas of the body. Some of the health problems associated with increased stomach fat are heart attacks, strokes, the development of metabolic syndrome, higher levels of "bad" cholesterol (LDL) and lower levels of "good" cholesterol (HDL), which can lead to other health problems!
Source: http://stress.about.com/od/stresshealth/a/cortisol.htm
Well now you are thinking... Ok, please hold that for a while and let us look at another chemical called catecholamine.
Catecholamine is a chemical released by the brain when we have what are termed good stress. Challenges that we consider as invigorating releases catecholamine and some other chemicals.
Catecholamine, is the chemical that drives excitement, positive mood, high energy and optimal brain function.
Simple examples of life situation that generates catecholamine are when we are given a task that leads to a reward (not a carrot and stick task), expecting the arrival of a loved one, expecting a payout, playing games which we are sure we will most probably win and other activities in our life that gives us positive anxiety.
Now here lies a problem, most issues that we face daily tend to be threatening rather than invigorating or at least so they seem. Here also lies the solution.
To drive Catecholamine in your body as against cortisol why not turn what seems to be de-stabilizing threats to invigorating challenges? You will say that is simply said than done? Well, not really.
Let me give you two examples here and you can extrapolate to other life situation:
Example 1
You were given a target or task that "SEEMs" totally impossible. You can respond in two ways
a) feel threatened by assuming that your boss just wanted to get rid of you or make a fool of you which now becomes a threat that drives the production of cortisol in your body killing your ability to think rationally or
b) turn it into an invigorating challenge by;
1: Consider it as opportunity to test out your negotiating skill with your boss in which the outcome is at worst for you to still have to deliver on the task as given or at best change your boss' mind.
Merely imagining yourself succeeding with the negotiation already creates an invigorating challenge that drives your catecholamine, which drive your optimal mental function and excitement and help fight against any cortisol that may have been deposited in your body. Net net, you are a winner.
2. If you are like most winners, you just tell yourself "impossible is nothing" and create that sense of excitement that you are on your way again to delivering what others consider impossible.
3. This is the most important one to me: Consider the situation as a learning opportunity. Ask yourself the question, what new things can I learn from this. It is a given fact of life that every threat or challenge in life is a learning opportunity when approached with an open mind. Fail or win, you will at least learn something.
Example 2:
An unprovoked verbal attack or an outburst of anger.
You can respond to this like any other person by "giving it back" to that person and risk getting into a verbal fight at the least if not a physical fight that just drives up your cortisol level.
Also, your situation is compounded by the fact that you never get over such confrontation for days which simply delivers more cortisol to your body.
However, you can do the unexpected, put up a smile (if appropriate and/or you can force one) or just calmly tell the person that you are sure you will also react as he or she is reacting if you are hurt like him, but it will be more beneficial for the two of you to discuss what the issues are and find an amicable solution. Then turn the situation to an invigorating challenge based on the three principles highlighted in first example above.
Most times, the attacker will always apologize for their bad behavior and henceforth respect your maturity.
Try this out on your spouse and see what your reward will be. :)
Bottom line: Keep your cortisol as low as possible as you cannot totally avoid it and drive your catecholamine by changing your view and attitude to situations that confronts you.
FK
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